Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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