I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
