You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
