Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
