what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
