does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Everyone says I win the strip club
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
