Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
