i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
