we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
