i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
