butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
