I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I believe in your delicious
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
