I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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