my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am in a vortex of obligation.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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