Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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