This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
