I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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