even my farts smell like vagina
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
