is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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