i barfeds in our rink
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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