Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
