he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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