First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize