Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
