dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
