Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
