I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
why didn't you poke me back
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
