Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
