Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
