I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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