I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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