You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She bit a glass in half.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
wow bdsm is so cute
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
