oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
