ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The uberlube is also flammable
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
