I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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