it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
