I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
