I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
