I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
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It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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