every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i think my cat just said my name.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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