I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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