ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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