you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
