In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
