'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
