smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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