It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
