I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
