Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
