3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
