We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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