What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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